I'm all for self expression, and I'm all for people riding their bikes. If people need some kind of eccentric bike to motivate them to get out and pedal, then good for them.
Sometimes though, the power of the internet drops something into our lap that defies convention and circumvents all common sense.
The “FacePalm Files” chronicles these tales.
The Sad Scott
Oh boy, let's take a look at this gem which was posted on Delaware CraigsList for the princely sum of $1200, which he claims he paid $2600 for in 2006. I've got news for you, buddy…the depreciation on that bike is far greater than $1400, especially after what you've done to it. But don't take my word for it, check out his own listing copy:
Scott carbon fiber bicycle, model CR-1, good condition, Kevlar tires, new chain, replaced hard skinny original equipment seat with comfortable “memory foam” seat. Large size frame [139 mm].
Wow, so you can get a “memory foam” saddle now? Interesting. I suppose that makes sense, since it LOOKS to be the size of a mattress. I'm also curious how a 139mm frame is considered a large, unless it's designed for a cat (and we all know cats aren't comfortable on bikes, no matter how much duct tape you use.)
I had the bicycle shop convert it to straight handlebars for better steering control, which could mean the difference in saving you from having an accident when the front wheel of your Kevlar tires with 115 lbs. pressure hits a pot hole, since it gives more leverage for better control than the narrower curved type handlebars.
Better steering control huh? Wider bars actually slow steering response, so I think he's got it wrong. And “curved type” bars (drop bars) don't offer control? Someone should tell all those guys who race over cobbles at 45k/hr that their drop bars are making them squirrely and unsafe. And why the hell do you have 115 PSI in your tires? No wonder your handling sucks, that's like riding on a set of cement tires. You may also consider calling a doctor before you sell it, because I believe your bike has been nipping at your Viagra: look at that stem-erection! Holy positive rise Batman.
But alas, there's no mention of medical help for this poor bike, but we find out that it has been under the knife in the past:
I also had the bicycle shop drill out bigger tire valve stem holes, to accommodate standard car tire size air pumps. So you won't need to keep an adapter with you at all times. And the shop adapted a kickstand to fit the carbon fiber frame, so you won't need to lay the bike down or prop it against something each time you get off it. It also has extra heavy tire tubes.
Drilled out the rims? Did you lose too many adapters or something? Or were you just too cheap to buy a pump with a presta head on it? And “extra heavy tire tubes” shouldn't be needed for your “Kevlar tires” at 115 PSI. After all, Kevlar is bullet proof, right? So why do you need extra heavy tubes?
As for the kickstand, any mechanic who clamped a kickstand on a thin carbon chainstay tube should be stabbed in the liver with it. That could easily damage the integrity of the tube and put the rider at risk of frame failure. Now, if the bike wasn't worth the $1200 asking price before, it certainly wouldn't be now with potential damage to the frame from having a kickstand clamped onto it. Although let's be honest, it's worth it to be able to stand it up on it's own, right?
The bicycle shop told me this was one of the last USA made Scott bicycles, before they switched to having their bikes made for them in Taiwan. I bought it in 2006, and I noticed that over 60% of the professional bicycle racers at a race I saw back then all had the same type of Scott bicycle as mine. So I presume the “R” in the model designation “CR-1” stands for racing model.
You know, a phrase comes to mind here: “a fool and his money are soon parted.” Great sales pitch, bike shop, great sales pitch, you really sold that one well. Last I remember, the only pro team on Scott bikes in '06 was Saunier Duval. Since there were maybe 20ish racers on that team, I somehow doubt there were only 30 pros racing that year, so the “60% of the professional bicycle racers” all rode the same bike. And even if they did, I don't think they bolted a couch and flat bars on it and fed it enough Viagra to promote a permanent stem-boner.
A Taiwan-made Scott model CR-1sells today for $3,000. I paid $2600 for mine in 2006. But that didn't include Kevlar tire up-grades.
A set of extremely high quality tires today only costs about $180, so I don't think that's going to inflate the price all that much. And frankly, if you bought tires for that bike back in '06, the odds are good that they're either dry rotted (from all the riding you didn't do) or worn out (from the 6 years of riding you did on them.) Pick your poison.
I'll be straight with you buddy: You may as well give up while you're ahead and sell the frame, fork and wheels for about $500 and a case of Heineken. Or, if that kickstand damaged the frame in any way you may be lucky to get the case of Heineken: more than likely someone will offer you a 12 pack of Natty Light.
Actually, I'd take it at this point. You're not going to get much better.
FacePalm indeed…
