Embrocation:

em·bro·ca·tion
ˌembrəˈkāSH(ə)n/
noun
  1. a liquid used for rubbing on the body to relieve pain from sprains and strains.

Embro. Leg Lube.  Belgian knee warmers.  Whatever you call it, it's something that has fascinated cyclists for decades.  It is an essential part of cyclocross, but has become an accepted and even necessary part of fall, winter and early spring road cycling.  It's something that many people speak of in hushed tones, in reverence and wonderment. Embrocation is akin to leg shaving in terms of the depth of puzzling looks received by those new to the sport (and indeed, those outside the sport.)  It's a skin protector.  It's a leg “polish.”  It's a warming agent.  Truly, it's as close to the very essence of cycling as one can get without chattering over the bergs of Belgium on a steel Bianchi.  But why is that so?

If you're new to embrocation, you may rightly be wondering what the fuss is all about.  “It must be easy to just rub it in and ride off into the sunset, right?”  Sure, your legs will shine like gleaming beacons of power and destruction, and they will tingle with the a warmth indicative of the spring classics.  But beware, for circumstances can go horribly awry and end with an eye opening, possibly life changing (and certainly nether-region demolishing) experience.

As with all things in life, there's a right and a wrong way to undertake any task.  And the correct method of embrocating bliss is to speak of “The Ritual” which should accompany each embrocating experience you undertake.

First, you'll probably need some embro.  I'm personally a huge fan of

[easyazon_link identifier=”B00B5TAPQO” locale=”US” nw=”y” tag=”taicoaandthed-20″]Mad Alchemy Gentleman's Blend[/easyazon_link] for cool days, and 
[easyazon_link identifier=”B00BD4AVYM” locale=”US” nw=”y” tag=”taicoaandthed-20″]Mad Alchemy Warm Weather[/easyazon_link] for warmer days (the warm weather variety has no heat to it at all, just some delightful spearmint oil to wake up the legs, facilitate a solid pre-ride massage and protect your skin from sun, dirt, etc.)

Now that you have your embro, you need to apply it.  But before you do read more after the jump.  To help you out on the path to righteous embrocating, I'm going to go through some of the “do's” and “don'ts” of embrocating, along with the ramifications of each.

The ritual: embrocatingEmbrocation Do:

  • Apply liberally:  Get a good glob of that spicy goodness out of the tub and smear it onto your waiting pistons.  In some cases, less is more, but you want a goodly amount to go around and work into your muscles before you start.   But hold on, cowboy, there's a method to the madness of applying your chosen liniment…
  • Massage it in:  Before you go hog wild just wiping embro onto your skin, consider what I call “The Ritual.”  Start by covering your patella and patellar tendon, hamstring tendons, the distal part of your IT band and your achilles tendon (if not wearing tall socks) with embro.  Work it in with your fingers, opening up the fibers in those tendons and loosening them up for a couple seconds each.  Then, with broad strokes, swipe up the calf and lower leg, into the hamstrings and quads.  Return to the quad and, starting at the achilles, use both hands to stroke upward and outward, following the orientation of the muscle fibers.  Continue into the hamstrings, starting at the tendons in the back of the knee and kneading towards the midline of your leg.  For the quads, start with the lateral quad by working up the muscle with both hands, and then knead the medial quad with short strokes from the patella up towards the inside of the leg.  Repeat with the other leg.  And before you do ANYTHING else….
  • Wash your hands after application: Because you really don't need to have embro (and the capsaicin contained therein) added to any sensitive area of the body.  Use dish soap for the grease cutting capability or, if you're lubing up before a race, a wet wipe at least.  If you're using a wet wipe, I hope you have gloves with you.
  • Use it on other sore spots: Your lower back may be a prime candidate here.  The warming, toasty sensation along with the muscle relaxing properties is a great adjunct when you're fighting with stiffness or soreness in your low back muscles.
  • Make sure legs are shaved:  Please.  PLEASE.  PLEASE!!!!  If you're not part of the “shaven ones” then don't use embro.  Just don't.  We don't want to look at the matted mess that is your leg hair embedded in a rapeseed and shea butter concoction.  Plus, it just looks like you rode through a cow pasture, and that's kind of nasty.

Embrocation on fingersThat should take care of the “do's”.  Now let's look at the “don'ts.”

Embrocation Don't:

  • Embro up before putting your bibs on: This should seem obvious, but once in a while you'll hear about someone who unfortunately didn't think things through very well.  As your bibs slide up your legs, they will drag all that carefully applied liniment up your legs and into your nether regions.  That's a recipe for a bad ride.
  • Embro up before applying chamois cream: Again, this should seem obvious, but I've actually seen it happen.  Guy is in a hurry, guy applies embro, guy applies chamois cream, in that order.  After the ride rolls out and is half a mile down the road, said guy is shifting uncomfortably in his saddle.  He's asked why, then told what he did.  Hilarity ensues.  Don't be that guy.  Chamois cream ALWAYS goes on first, followed by bibs, followed by the rest of the kit, and embro is applied LAST.  “The Ritual” is the last thing you'll do before you warm up (or roll out.)
  • Put embro deep under socks:  If you're wearing calf height socks or some other similarly tall sock (and if you're wearing compression socks, then you should not be wearing embro at all, and you are probably riding a full on triathlon bike complete with the silly aerobar mounted bottle) don't put embro more than an inch below the cuff.  Those socks will be dirty, nasty and disgusting after a few rides like that.
  • Rub your eyes without washing your hands:  File under the “this should be obvious.”  Most of you know what happens when you rub your eyes after chopping up a jalapeño.  This is arguably worse.  I speak from experience.
  • Jump in the shower or bath without scrubbing it off first:  Most embrocation blends tend to get hotter as they are exposed to water (or any moisture such as sweat.)  For that reason, jumping into an ice bath immediately post ride isn't a great idea.  Instead, wipe off as much remaining embro as you can with either a wet wipe or a paper towel with dish detergent.  It will help to mitigate the burn you'll feel in the shower or bath after your ride.

Hopefully, these tips have given you a little insight on the things you should and shouldn't do when playing with greased fire.