If you read my previous “Motivation Monday” posts, you'll know I was somehow suckered into riding the Monkey Knife Fight on April 14th. I'd suggest you read those posts to get an idea of what I've gotten myself into and where I've been so far in terms of training. The short, short version of it is this: it's a spring classic, PA style. That means dirt roads, gravel, steep climbs, shitty weather and lots and lots of fun. And beer. There's a beer sponsor. I think it's Funk Brewing, actually.
In past columns, I've detailed some of my training theory behind a ride like this. Yeah, it's lots of muscular endurance and plenty of VO2 max work. No, it's not glamorous at all, but it gets the job done. In all honesty, training never is glamorous, is it?
I've also gone on to explain how you can tell when your fitness has climbed enough for an “out of order” fitness test. Since then, it's been pretty quiet. Why? Well, there are a couple factors I'll detail today. But in reality, it's just been grinding out intervals and hoping to get fit enough to not die.
And what's my plan for not dying on this thing? Click through the jump to find out!
Playing Catch Up
So we're a week away from the main event. In 5 days, it's time to do the dance of the monkey knives. In fact, the Monkey Knife Fight organizers are delighting in torturing us with details of each and every “hellingen” on the route. And they're rating it by how many “knives” it is instead of stars.
Cute.
Why do I bring this up? Well, partly because this ride is starting to scare the shit out of me. No joke.
If you've been paying attention to the news and weather, or god forbid you LIVE in the northeast, you'll know our winter has been heinous. Sure, we had a couple of nice days in February. Maybe one or two were even over 70 degrees. But March was a complete washout. As in, I've ridden outside two times in March for a total of about 44 miles outdoors since February. All the rest of my training, including any hard interval work, has been stuffed inside on the trainer.
This matters because it puts me WAY behind the 8 Ball in terms of fitness. Normally, on any given year, we'd be out riding a dozen times in March and April. This year, yesterdays 43.5 mile training ride was the longest thing I've done since last October!
Well, I'm solidly fucked, aren't I?
Maybe not…
The Power of Pacing
If you're shooting for a fast time in an event like MKF, you'll want to adjust how you approach the ride. Just scroll up and look at that profile. I mean, seriously, I've seen fewer pointy bits in the mouth of a great white. Now think, how would you approach something like that?
Most people would say “well, I'm going to hit the climbs hard and gain a bunch of time there.” I'd say sure, that could work, but you'd probably rack up a better time by hitting the climbs at a moderate pace and ramp it up on the flats and descents. Why? Well, the energy expended to go an extra mile per hour faster on the climbs would probably add 3 or 4 MPH on the flats. And probably even more on the descents.
See why it matters now?
So how does that simple fact play into my devious plan to survive almost 70 miles of attempted murder? Well, the pacing could be the key here.
Getting it right
Getting the pacing on an event like this right is really, really tough. You have to look at the profile, see where you can recover and where you should be willing to spend a little energy. This is made doubly hard by the fact that we'll be riding with other people, so the impetus to go out too hot will be incredibly high. (Thanks Nate. Don't make me chase you and then leave me for dead!)
Let's take a look at the ride and break it down a bit:
A bumpy warmup
The first third of the ride basically rolls. There's nothing super steep (nothing in the double digits anyway) but it still contains about 1/3rd of the overall elevation. This will be a big trap section of the ride. Going out too hot here will burn a lot of matches and shatter any expectations of finishing in one piece.
So it's critical to stay smart here and just chillax, bro. Take it easy up to the first rest area and things should be golden, right?
Maybe.
Murder in the middle
The middle 25 miles is the brutish killer lurking in the bushes. It contains five “rated” sectors of dirt/gravel roads, including the brutalizing Goat Hill. It features almost a half mile of double-digit gradients up to 18%. Oh, and as a final “fuck you” to your legs, it's double-digit gradients on dirt. This one will take a big chunk of VO2 max capacity and all kinds of dirt road riding skills just to get to the top.
At more than 100 feet of elevation gain per mile of distance, the middle 25 miles of Monkey Knife Fight will be the ultimate test of fitness and pacing. There are no prizes for being the fastest to the top of the climbs, just for making it to the top in one piece. Keeping the legs loose through the constant ups and downs will be important: everyone knows what it's like when you soft pedal downhill and suddenly come upon a hard, steep pitch. Instant lockup. That's bad. Real bad.
If the legs actually last through this murderous middle portion, we're in for an easy finish.
A flying finale
The final 20 miles is a relative joy to handle compared to what came before it. Merely 1300 feet of elevation gain awaits, and almost half of it comes right at the beginning. Just burn through sector 7 and suddenly we're on easy street.
Well, not quite. There's still the matter of 15 miles of rolling terrain to navigate, and trying to push too hard here would be disastrous. Even seeing the end in sight, cramping or bonking would spell doom for a fun ride day.
So what's the plan?
As I mentioned earlier, an event like Monkey Knife Fight is all about pacing. I'm a huge proponent of learning to ride by feel and knowing how to ride within oneself. In this case, I'll be keeping a watchful eye on my power numbers, making sure I don't stray outside that sweetspot zone too much unless I'm on the climbs.
Speaking of those climbs, it'll be critical to not try and hammer the bejeezus out of them. I'll be using my most efficient climbing techniques to just get over the top instead of being the guy off the front. That's a change for me, but it'll have to be so I can make it to the finish line in one piece.
Hopefully.
See you afterwards! Hopefully I won't have too many cuts and scars from my dagger duel with a bunch of punchy primates.
